


you still get my heart

by tragickenobi



Series: the finnpoe series i didn't know i was making [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Porn With Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 16:40:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14877476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tragickenobi/pseuds/tragickenobi
Summary: he's purposefully quiet as he walks in, eyes immediately combing over the man’s sleeping form. there's little blood, actually, save for the occasional cut and the two bandages obvious with their contrast against him. he looks startlingly, enviously peaceful. poe finds himself smiling stupidly at the sight.





	you still get my heart

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this all the way back in april of 2016, two whole years ago, way before i could've known anything about the last jedi and how this in no way fits into any of our current canon. but i always come back and reread this anyway, and i ran a twitter poll and everyone said they wanted me to fix it up a little and post it.
> 
> second of note: in my own notes on the doc, i state that this is somewhat partially inspired by another finnpoe fic i'd read at the time. for the life of me, i can't begin to remember what that was. if reading this rings any bells of familiarity, please, please let me know and i'll edit this note to give due credit to that author and their fic.
> 
> edit 6/15: the inspiring fic has been identified as "Tomorrow is Never" by gloss! https://archiveofourown.org/works/6486472

  
  
  


Finn’s on the ground, Poe’s in the air.  
  


Every so often, Finn’ll glance up and catch the black underbelly of Poe’s ship flying overhead. It’s hard to keep himself from getting distracted by how many ships the man can take out in a row; TIE’s spiraling out of the sky and onto the ground below. The battle is over a capital of a Republic-allied planet, the Order having been advancing past their smaller defenses towards the main group for several days now. The city had been evacuated some time ago, but, for Finn, it still doesn’t make seeing the destruction any easier.  
  


Finn has it luckier, though, he supposes. He’s not front lines or in constant combat like Poe is up in the air. He’s further back in mostly cleared zones, armed with a blaster for protection, but he’s there for immediate relief and aid. It’s fairly grisly, even back where he is. So far they’re doing a good job of pushing the Order’s troops back, but that doesn’t mean they’re without a few shiploads worth of casualties and injuries. So far, the only alive people he’s been in direct contact with are the other medics and the occasional left behind or injured Stormtrooper. The buildings around them are rarely in one piece; most have giant chunks taken out of them, others are destroyed from the halfway point up, and some have been reduced to rubble entirely. Navigating it makes him fear for their front line troops, and he hopes he isn’t caught in a retreat.  
  


Several hours into it and the most Finn has had to deal with is the aerial battle. They don’t stick to areas of the city in a push back and forth; they swoop from one end of the sky to the other in a second. And multiple times Finn can hear explosions some ways behind him from the ships’ fire. its after those several hours that he supposes he gets close enough to the main conflict to come across injured that are standing and conscious. He comes across a human girl and a male Zeltron slung under her arm and he runs to meet up with them. The girl has several scratches from debris and the main injury appears to be blaster fire on her other arm and across her ribs. The Zeltron‘s is, unsurprisingly, a hit or several to his legs.  
  


After getting them sat down against the burnt out husk of a building, Finn finally asks “How’re we doing?”  
  


The girl- named Surik- exhales while Finn pulls aside the tattered end of her uniform to apply a thin layer of bacta to the blaster wound on her ribs. It looks more like a graze than a direct hit, which is lucky for her. “Two steps forward, three back. But I couldn't even tell who was winning when we started back.”  
  


Several TIE’s scream overhead, pursued seconds later by the tailing X-Wing’s. Finn watches them pass before he repeats the procedure on Saurik's arm. If she’s lucky it’ll remain all intact. The Zeltron is a little more difficult, trying to separate his deep red skin from the blood coming from the wound proving harder in practice than in theory. Finn therefore isn't sure how much damage exactly as been done and doesn't know if any part of his lower half will have to be amputated as a result.  
  


“We’ll at least have warning if we retreat” Finn comments, giving an obligatory glance into the distance to check for signs of conflict. There appears to be only the same cloud of dust and occasional collapsed soldier scattered throughout the streets. It looks like hell materialized, but there are no signs of their troops or any other.  
  


Saurik stands up while Finn’s working on bandaging up the Zeltron’s legs (who still hasn’t said a word outside of heavy pain-tinged breathing), pulling her hair back, glistening with sweat. “Yeah. And all the people that can’t escape are fucked, huh?”  
  


Finn thinks  _ kind of _ and cuts off the bandage to secure it down on the humanoid, before standing and walking over to the girl. “We’ll get everyone we can, like we always do,” he says reassuringly, “We’ll be fine.”  
  


The girl exhales, nods, looks at Finn, and things very quickly go to ‘not fine’.  
  


Blaster fire sounds off, and several shots hit Saurik in the back. Her eyes go wide and unfocused as her body jerks with each hit despite still staring in Finn’s direction. Finn jumps back in surprise and falls back onto his hands just in time to miss being landed on by the corpse. Somewhat to his side, the Zeltron whips out his blaster and starts firing back, trying to stand but the most he can do is somewhat stumble onto one knee. Finn starts firing as well after several stunned seconds are broken with returned fire. A small squad of five or six Stormtroopers poke out from behind the husks of buildings like toys, retreating back inside when the two standing shoot back.  
  


Keeping low to the ground, Finn at least gets to his knees and starts to edge in the direction of the Zeltron; he doesn’t get far before a rocket launches from the opposing side. Finn has just enough time to think  _ shit _ and hit the ground again before the projectile hits. He’s close enough that he can feel the heat wave, rubble raining down on him. As soon as he’s sure another one isn’t coming, Finn goes back up to his knees and fires again, teeth gritting. He sees two armor-clad bodies hit the ground while their counterparts shoots back. its not until he’s running for cover that Finn feels a burst of shocking pain hit his calf. He stumbles, falters to a knee, but adrenaline makes him keep running.  
  


There’s the screeching sound of ships above them, and Finn instinctively ducks when he hears them start shooting as well. A TIE goes veering, spiraling into the ground a ways away, and an X-Wing flies overhead. Finn straightens recognizing the black underneath, relief hitting him that Poe’s still alive (and evidently still obliterating the enemy).  
  


The distraction gets him a hit in the shoulder. Finn is knocked back onto the ground by the force of the blast, pain making his thoughts go blank. A few more seconds-later blasts fly past just where he'd been moments before. Only out of automatic instinct does Finn force himself into a sitting position and fire back, gritting his teeth at having to move the injured arm.  
  


Poe’s ship flies overhead again and this time he fires at the ground. The first few rapid bolts start hitting the space just a few yards in front of Finn, moving along forward as the ship flies. He hits the remaining Troopers dead on, by effect knocking down the rest of the buildings around them. Finn, panting through an open mouth, stares watching the X-Wing fly in a circle before rejoining the main air battle, still everywhere in the sky but mostly moving in a distant direction.  
  


Finn stares for another moment at the now empty sky, then at the rubble where the Stormtroopers had once been, before dropping to lie flat on the ground. He’ll move to find a safe place to hide until the second wave of medics come in, but for now he just needs, like, five seconds to recover. He doesn't know why Poe fired on the Troopers; if he recognized it was Finn down there or he just saw the exchange and decided to help out. He doesn't know where those Stormtroopers came from, what they were doing so far off from the main battle. But he supposes now he’ll never know, so there's no point in any sort of  _ what if _ .  
  


Finn pulls himself onto his feet, body aching and burned as he uses his comm to let the rest of the first wave medics know his situation. At best, he just has to wait for the second wave to reach this part of the city. At worst- he hopes Poe circles back around.

 

-

 

Poe watches the ground battle from above with a constant level of high anxiety.  
  


It's not like he doesn't have the anxiousness in other battles, or that his fears over Finn ever fade. But usually Finn’s not in the front line and usually it's not  _ quite _ so catastrophic. It's not often Poe doesn't feel confident in his boyfriend’s own abilities to protect himself.  
  


Every twenty or so seconds he’ll chime into the radio chatter. Mostly he stays around Snap and Jes, but any of his squad he's near, he'll stick near to protect from being ganged up on by the still arriving TIE’s. So far they've already lost a good portion of pilots, too many exploding mid-air or spiraling into the city below where it's possible they've killed more of their own that way. It's a bloodbath.  
  


Poe veers up and left to avoid fire from the enemy ship coming straight for him, face furrowed in concentration before his thumbs jam down on  _ fire _ . He clips the ship in front of him and watches with satisfaction as it spins as it falls into one of the many large lakes surrounding the city.  
  


“More coming from northwest; I’m on ‘em,” Bastian comes in over the comm, his ship zipping by a few seconds later towards the reinforcement TIE’s.  
  


“I’ll cover you” Poe responds quickly, veering after him “The rest of you keep on the rest of them, we've got to keep ‘em away from our guys down there.”  
  


Everyone chirps in to confirm and then Poe's back to concentrating. He evades the oncoming blasts and starts to shoot back once he's got Bastian out of his line of fire. There's a good dozen of them, and Poe takes note that the group of them don’t split after the other ships spread over the airspace of the city. Two on twelve. Poe’s had worse odds thrown at him.  
  


The two ships cut right through the middle of the onslaught of TIE’s, green blasts mixed with red. Poe hits several ships on the run before they emerge on the other side, before he turns up and spins a little before he straightens out, following the X-Wing ahead of him now going back towards the TIE’s. There’s a million things running through his mind; keeping Bastian from being killed, keeping himself from being killed, trying to keep track of the nine or so TIE ships that are left opposing them. Finn pops into his mind every couple moments like an alarm he can't (and doesn't want to) switch off.  
  


Poe is jolted forward suddenly and his ship makes a noise that very clearly reads  _ not good _ . His comm goes wild with voices all at once and he can’t pick out a single one out of the jarble. He opts to shut it off for a few seconds, his other hand yanking the controls to steer him away from the middle of the fray. BB8 informs him that the main engines have taken a hit. At most they’ve got minutes until they’re dead, and then they’ll be stuck falling in a giant metal meteor.  
  


“Black leader; I’ve got to put her down” Poe flips his comm back on and immediately after swerves to avoid the line of fire of a TIE coming right towards him. “You all know what to do. I’ll see you all back on the ground.”  
  


Poe flies a hard left, resulting in a several foot drop that has his stomach in his throat. His teeth are clenched together so tight it’s a miracle they haven’t grinded to dust yet. The smoke flying out from the back of his ship is like a bullseye for an easy target, and he undoubtedly would’ve been a goner had several X-Wings not flown in and given Poe some cover himself.  
  


The problem is there’s very little space for Poe to safely “put her down”. The entire city is a guarantee of certain death upon impact, especially if he’s going to drop like a rock any moment now. And if he lands in one of the dozens of giant lakes, the pressure will trap him within the ship and he’ll either die long, slow, and painful, or possibly drown if the glass shatters and he’s sucked down with the wreckage. Poe grits his teeth again when the ship stalls for a few terrifying seconds, kicking back into gear shortly after but the drop in altitude gives him another adrenaline boost. As dangerous as straining those dying engines is, Poe speeds up and flies himself at a steady downwards slant, aiming for a wide patch of mostly open ground. There’s a good cluster of foliage that might prove difficult to navigate, but it's the only option that doesn’t end with Poe dying way too violently.  
  


Poe flicks his comm off several moments later, after the engines sound like they’re running on fumes. Everything smells like burning gas and something else that’s gotta be the hyperdrive and that’s  _ really _ really not good. The ground is still coming up too fast, but he hopes not fast enough that he’ll be thrown through the cockpit and end up being hit by his still skidding forward ship (he’s seen it; once, and he didn’t sleep for a long while after). He’s just gotta keep himself from going into a spiral and he’ll be fine. He’ll probably walk out of the wreckage and back to the city on his own.  
  


Finn flashes in his mind, one last moment of heart-wrenching  _ please _ thrown to whatever deity can protect them both. He feels the belly of the ship hit the ground a half second before the nose does. His body does lurch forward to a degree, and the only thing that probably keeps his head in one piece is the helmet. Still, he feels glass and sharp something in his chest, and the sounds of dirt hitting metal before it goes black and quiet.

 

-

 

They do win the battle.  
  


It’s close, and casualties on either side list a mile long, but they win. The city truly looks like a warzone, even the heart of it, where the least fighting had taken place and where the Resistance sets up their medcenters for the majority of injuries. Those nearly comatose and any captured prisoners get the first shuttles back to home base.  
  


Finn’s found by the second wave of medics nearly an hour after having been shot. His shirt and pants are singed away where he was hit with the blasts, skin raw and burning worse with every movement. Luckily he’s got enough spare bacta left in his supplies that he can patch himself up a bit in the waiting time, otherwise focused on listening for the sounds of incoming battle. Even though he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to run for safety if that situation arose.  
  


He’s far enough back that he’s one of the first into the camp of injured. He recognizes several soldiers he’d helped along the way, each one he’s thankful to have seen survive their injuries regardless of the severity. The pilots are being debriefed near the camp, but Finn’s not even been given a look over for his own injuries, so he figures Poe’s going to have to come looking for him.  
  


The final list of injuries amount to first and second degree burns (on the side of his face, not just from the blaster, from the missile he’d been too close to), some minor scrapes and scratches, and his hearing’s going to be funny for a while with a nearly burst eardrum, also courtesy of the missile. Overall he’s one of the more lucky ones. He’s still got his comm, can still talk to and hear from his friends who hadn’t been injured on the job and were now tasked with healing half the Resistance. He’s already hearing about those who need amputations, those blind or deaf either temporarily or permanently. Others are dying from their injuries. It's an ugly scene.  
  


After maybe an hour there as passed, and there's still no sign of Poe, Finn opts for sleep. He's lucky enough that he's in one of the more quiet sections of the camp that it's almost kind of easy. It helps knowing that the silence will make it obvious when Poe surely will come in eventually, boots hitting the rocks and dirt and definitely yelling at him for getting injured (lovingly of course). It's a sight he's very much going to welcome upon waking up.

 

-

 

Poe eventually wakes up himself within the same camp.  
  


His eyes open to see the fluttering white fabric of the makeshift tents. A quick self assessment reveals pain in his head, chest, and something tingling funny in his back.  
  


He turns his head to one side and is greeted with an IV pole. Then to the other side and Snap’s sitting at the chair near the bedside. He's resting his arm on his knee, head on hand, but straightens when he sees that Poe's lucid. The man looks exhausted, which, for fair reason.  
  


“Morning, sunshine” he mumbles, smiling tiredly.  
  


Poe blinks a few times and rubs his eyes, faintly aware of what had happened but the extent of it hasn’t really settled again yet. Finn’s not there. “Did I- miss something? Somewhere along the line?”  
  


He tries to sit up and immediately the man beside him moves to keep him laying down. Still there’s a sharp stab of pain that shoots up Poe’s spine and he grimaces, hands balling up into fists in the sheets. His ears ring with it. Snap keeps one hand on Poe’s chest while pulling a comm from his pocket, saying something unintelligible until Poe’s hearing comes back.  
  


“Don’t do that, Dameron.” he says firmly, “You haven’t been fully checked out yet.”  
  


Poe decides to believe him on that and nods, dropping his head against the pillow and exhaling. There’s a dull ache in his ribs he notices. But he can move his legs at least, which knocks down his fear over the pain in his back.  
  


According to Snap, he and Karé had been the ones to go back after the battle to scout out Poe. BB8 had still been transmitting their location (he was in for minor repairs; thankfully the worst of his damage had been only being a little bit banged up). Poe’d been awake at the time, uniform and hair matted with blood and propped up against the beaten body of his X-Wing. The adrenaline was just starting to crash, and he was walking back with them almost fine on his own for maybe two minutes before turning to Snap, opening his mouth to say something, before promptly collapsing. It would’ve been hilarious had they not all been stressed to hell and back before that point and they’d both had to run Poe back to the city to make sure he hadn’t just dropped dead on them.  
  


“You got our blood pumping again, that’s for sure,” he says with a sigh, “And a few more of us went down after that; Karé’s checking for them. Finn’s in medbay, so I volunteered to stay behind and make sure you didn’t try dying on us again. Idiot.”  
  


Poe laughs softly and mumbles “I try”, and now that he knows he’s alive and that what he cares about is okay, he feels alright in letting his eyes rest shut.  
  


A few seconds tick by. Poe opens his eyes again.  
  


“What do you mean Finn’s in medbay?”  
  


“I asked about him with one of the other medics, they said he took a few hits but that he’s going to be fine, he’s sleeping.”  
  


Poe’s already started to try and sit himself up again as soon as Snap confirms what he’d said. And the hand is back on him trying to get him to sit back down, relax, stop being a kriffing idiot and breaking more of his bones. Poe manages to shove him off and at least makes himself sit up, wincing his eyes shut at the change in position giving some different pressure against his body. Another several seconds pass where his ears ring and he opens his eyes again, working his jaw and finding that’s sore and stiff too. “Why is he in- what happened?” Poe asks, breathing a little fast because sure it hadn’t been said but what if Finn’s in worse shape than had been implied?  
  


Snap exhales, and it's obvious he’s refraining from making Poe lie down (or that he’s just decided it’s fruitless effort). “I just know that he took some damage, he was fine enough a few hours ago that he was grouped with all the minorly injured. Finn’ll be fine, alright?”  
  


Poe closes his eyes momentarily, not ignoring the mention of the time. He's been out for hours; Finn’s been alone for  _ hours.  _ Injured or not, that's unacceptable for him.  
  


He doesn't get the chance to try and fight and run his way to Finn. Two medics come into the room- assumedly who Snap had called- and quickly begin to give him more of a lookover now that he’s finally awake. There’s a lot of painful prodding and testing for broken bones involved, all of which Poe strains not to be extremely vocal about his distaste for. In the end, he comes out of it with several broken ribs (and a nice big shard of shrapnel that had been lodged in his chest, which had been removed while he was unconscious. Upon inspection there’s stitches, fresh, the skin still raw and painful to the touch), a multitude of glass scrapes on his face and body, and a mild concussion and whiplash. He supposes in the grand possibility of things that could’ve happened to him, it’s not that bad.  
  


Once the medics leave with a quick thanks and good luck to the both of them, Poe’s sitting up again, rubbing his eyes with the blunts of his palms. “So am I gonna have to wait for you to leave for me to get up and see him?”  
  


He’s answered with a tired exhale, meaning Snap is probably debating with himself how hard it would be to physically restrain Poe to the bed for however long it takes for him to heal up. “You’re really an idiot, you know that, right?”  
  


“So I’ve been told; about four times this week being by you.”  
  


Snap rolls his eyes before gesturing slightly to the open flaps of the tent. “I’m taking your bed if you go.”  
  


Poe grins and claps the man on the shoulder, slowly hoisting himself from the bed. His ribs yell, but he can feel the dampness of bacta pressed against his chest for the scrapes, and it lessens the blow of it. He waves off the look of concern he gets and murmurs a “thank you” before he gets to walking. It’s really only then that he realizes he’s been stripped down to his underclothes; dirtied thermal undershirt and pants with the same purpose. He’ll ask what happened to his flight suit later; assuming it hadn’t been scrapped.  
  


The camp is a sore sight, but nothing he hasn’t seen before. He’s been through some of the makeshift Resistance camps post-battle, and being patched up in half of them. But knowing Finn’s there as well, injured as well and not as a medic, makes it seem a hell of a lot darker. It seems to take forever walking at the slow pace he has to- as walking any faster sends his head lurching. He’ll have to check with Finn how long it ought to take for his concussion to clear up.  
  


After what feels like hours of wandering towards the other end of the camp, Poe finally is pointed in the right direction once he's in Finn’s general area. He's purposefully quiet as he walks in, eyes immediately combing over the man’s sleeping form. There's little blood, actually, save for the occasional cut and the two bandages obvious with their contrast against him. He looks startlingly, enviously peaceful. Poe finds himself smiling stupidly at the sight.  
  


With no rush to shake Finn awake, he shuffles to the other end of the room and pulls over a chair, quietly setting it up beside the bed and Finn doesn't wake up. Poe smiles again, being careful as he takes Finn’s hand in his own before he’s leaning and resting his head against Finn’s chest. Feeling him there breathing helps. And the rhythm furthermore relaxes him, reminding him of how exhausted he is despite the apparent hours he’d been unconscious. It’s a mere matter of minutes of sitting there, head on Finn’s chest and hands gently entwined, before Poe slips into a light sleep. Thankfully dreamless.

 

-

 

It’s Finn that wakes up first between the two of them.  
  


Seeing Poe right there leaning on top of him, practically all the way out of the chair, is enough to make him want to sit up and yank the man into his arms all the way. But as Finn wakes up more, blinks away the lingering hints of exhaustion in his eyes, his breathing goes a little shallow. Poe’s face is turned toward him, and as adorable as the expression on his face is, Finn can see the scratches littered across his face. He’s got a bruise on his cheek and just underneath his other eye, and there’s still blood plastering his hair to the sides of his face. He looks like he’s crawled out of hell.  
  


He must squeeze Poe’s hand unknowingly because seconds of observation pass and he watches Poe’s eyes flutter open, seemingly confused before those eyes lock in on Finn’s face. A smile forms and just keeps getting wider and wider until Poe’s sitting up, noticeably slow, especially for him. Something’s wrong.  
  


“Morning, babe,” Poe mumbles, being careful not to let go of Finn’s hand as he scoots his chair so he’s sat closer to where Finn’s head still lays, a little dazed even though the man’s on the side that isn’t still faintly ringing from the explosion. This close, he can see where the neck of his shirt hangs lower, new stitches apparent against his skin. Poe doesn’t seem to notice or care. “They- they told me you’d gotten hurt. I swear I tried to get to you as fast as I could but- evidently it took longer than I wanted.”  
  


Poe leans down and kisses Finn just like that, gentle but with a very obvious tone of desperateness. He tastes like medicine; or maybe that’s himself. Still, a little selfishly, Finn keeps kissing him, sitting up a little more until he habitually tries to put a bit of weight on his other arm and hisses in pain. Poe quickly pulls away, panicked expression until Finn kisses him again.  
  


“What happened?” Finn asks when he pulls away enough, cupping Poe’s face with the injured arm’s hand, which, as long as he doesn’t strain too terribly much, has been mostly numbed with the medicine by this point.  
  


Poe shakes his head a little, “Collateral damage, ‘s nothing. What happened to you?”  
  


Finn frowns, “Poe-”  
  


“Hey, I’m standing here in front of you, yeah? I promise, I’m fine, baby. I’m more worried about you-”  
  


“ _ Poe. _ ”  
  


The bit of persistence seems to wear Poe down in record time. He finally looks down, closing his eyes and exhaling slowly like it hurts him to do so. It probably does. Gently, he cups Poe’s face and makes him look back up, studying the bruises and cuts crowding on his face.  
  


“Crashed,” Poe finally supplies, quiet and still looking down despite Finn’s efforts, “Took a hit to the engines, had to do an emergency-type landing; it was basically a crash.”  
  


He proceeds to repeat what Snap had told him about being mostly conscious for all of five minutes (none of which Poe remembers) when they’d found him, and then what the medics had listed out. He doesn’t bother to sugarcoat any of it; Finn has access to the medical records, there’s no point in lying to him, not about this. Still, watching Finn’s face grow steadily more serious with every broken and twisted part of him doesn’t make him any more eager to share any of it.  
  


By the time he's done, the worry lines on Finn’s face run so deep he's pretty sure they've got to have permanently stuck there by this point. Part of him is angry at himself, for a number of reasons that he knows are unreasonable. He’s not a pilot, it’s not like he could’ve been up there on Poe’s back the entire time. But- there could’ve been something, right? Wiped out the troopers that had been attacking him and knocked out a TIE or two with the missile launcher.  
  


“Are you allowed to lie on your side?” Finn asks gently, tentatively reaching out to trace his hand along Poe’s side, purposely avoiding the extensively damaged ribs.  
  


Poe rolls his eyes, “There’s no one exactly here to stop me if I couldn’t,” though still nodding affirmatively when Finn gives him a warning glare. It requires a lot of slow movements and Finn’s help to get Poe edged onto the bed, one hand constantly on his waist because anywhere else feels too dangerous to try to touch. A good many minutes pass before Poe finally settles against the bed, albeit breathing shallowly by the time his head reaches the pillow. Finn slots himself in against Poe’s back, too scared to exactly pull him against his chest, but he trusts himself enough to wrap an arm around Poe’s waist, face pressed into the back of his neck.  
  


It’s quiet. Sure there’s noise outside, transports landing and taking off to take the injured back to D’Qar, medics conversing about the grimness of the situation. Finn doesn’t hear any of it (voluntarily; it has nothing to do with his ear), opting rather to focus on the small patches of skin between them that touch, Poe’s breathing that stutters slightly every other breath. Finn’s fingers dance along the waistline of his pants and shirt in deliberation before pushing past the fabric and ghosting over Poe’s stomach, getting a lovely shudder as a reaction. His hand eventually comes to rest just brushing over the ends of Poe’s pectorals. Of which are thankfully not shattered like glass.  
  


“I was helping two of ours and we were ambushed,” Finn whispers against the back of Poe’s neck, answering the unanswered question still lingering in the air between them, “They both died.” Then hesitation, wondering again if Poe knew he’d essentially saved Finn’s life by shooting down the little nest the troopers had been in. He wonders if it’s a good idea to tell the truth or fib. “You shot them down before they got a chance to do worse than this” he finishes off.  
  


After a moment, Poe chuckles, glancing back at Finn for a few seconds before going back to staring ahead. “I could’ve guessed. Danger magnet.”  
  


“Says  _ who _ ?” Finn rests his chin on Poe’s shoulder, smiling at the way Poe laughs and lazily turns his face into the pillow. They both know what this is; humor to relax themselves before getting into the seriousness of their situation. But it doesn’t make their lightheartedness any less genuine. “I’m sorry, tell me again, which one of us is the danger magnet?”  
  


Poe groans and lightly elbows Finn in the ribs “Leave me alone, it’s not like I try.”  
  


“Of course you don’t.”  
  


“Claims the man with the biggest martyr complex in the Resistance.”  
  


“Right, that was how I wanted to go- gunned down alone.”  
  


His comment immediately marks the end of their playfulness. Poe’s smile fades when he looks back up at Finn, eyes sad again. It hits Finn again too and he exhales heavily, nuzzling his face into the crook of the other man’s neck to remind himself that they’re both alive no matter how battered. Although now that he knows what had happened to Poe, preexisting fears of the man dying in a crash are now vividly brought back to light.  
  


“Did we know them?” Poe asks softly after a minute, eyes closed in either some kind of relaxation or attempt to brace himself.  
  


Finn shakes his head minutely, his other hand coming around Poe’s waist, careful to avoid where he’s injured, though daring to pull him just a little closer. “No. I didn’t at least. They could’ve been new.”  
  


Poe makes a slight hum of acknowledgement, and Finn knows his reassurance isn’t exactly reassuring, but he doesn’t know what else to say. That he’s just a little selfishly thankful that Saurik had been standing exactly where she had been; if she hadn’t, Finn would’ve been killed right where he stood. That makes him a bad person that he’s thankful for it, he knows that, but he already thinks that of himself anyway.  
  


“‘m glad you made it,” Poe says quietly after a moment, one of his hands sneaking around his shirt to place over Finn’s hand. Their fingers slide together. “I- kriff, I don’t want to think about it. Can we just- raincheck this?”  
  


Finn knows it’s not going to make any of this easier, if anything trying to put off dealing with what had happened to them is just going to make it agonizingly harder. He wants to press, coax everything out of Poe so there isn’t some horrible second accident Poe is hiding. But he knows this is Poe’s way of coping. Ignoring the obvious damage clearly isn’t healthy, and usually, on something more minor, Finn wouldn’t have an issue with prodding the conversation back open. And yet his opinion changes when he’s holding Poe like this, too fearful to move on the off chance he could end up doing further damage. He’s nearly forgotten all about his own injuries.  
  


“Raincheck,” Finn agrees quietly.  
  


Squeezing Poe’s fingers gently, Finn begins to trace shapes right above the waistband of Poe’s pants with his other hand. He’s warm despite the prominent goosebumps on his skin. The hand entwined with Poe’s brushes against the stitches and he’s whispering  _ sorry _ before Poe can even get a noise of pain out. Finn waits until Poe’s face smooths back out before moving again, before he exhales a breath he’d barely been aware of holding.  
  


Finn remains quiet as his hand starts to slowly go over Poe’s body, as if memorizing it like he doesn’t know it better than himself. He makes a noise every time he accidentally brushes over a bruise or cut and doesn’t go near the patch of skin again. He avoids Poe’s head and ribs as if they had the plague. Poe starts to laugh when Finn’s nose brushes the back of Poe’s neck, laughing but wincing when his ribs must not be able to take the action. It still doesn’t stop him from quietly giggling out “that  _ tickles _ , asshole”. Finn leaves a kiss to the spot before moving on.  
  


They spend quite some time just like that. Finn doesn’t get bored with it once, and by the time he’s repeating over the same spots, Poe’s practically melted into a puddle. Finn smiles to himself at the sight, adjusting himself enough to finally hoist himself up on his uninjured arm and start pressing kisses along the man’s hairline and jaw. He still tastes like a mix of blood and sweat, a slight pang of having to remember making him falter, but Poe seems to notice and cracks a concerned eye open to look up at him. Finn has to smile again, leaning to get the faintest of mouth to mouth contact before he lays back to continue spooning Poe back against his chest.  
  


Eventually, when Finn’s hand is sliding lightly over Poe’s stomach for the second or third time, Poe finally speaks quietly “Are you gonna just keep messing around or actually start touching me?”  
  


Finn startles out of his concentration, moving so Poe can see his face as well as the other way around. “You’re sure?”  
  


“I wouldn’t have asked if I weren’t.”  
  


“I don’t want to accidentally hurt you or something.”  
  


“Buddy, this is, like, the least painful thing I can think of doing right now.”  
  


To apparently prove his point, Poe turns the slightest amount and pulls Finn down by the shirt collar. Their mouths meet and it’s the softest clashing of tongue and teeth Finn could ever imagine. He groans quietly, bringing his hand up to cup Poe’s jaw softly. The kiss steadily deepens further, short pants of breath hitting their mouths with every second-long break, tongues brushing past each other in a desperate attempt to claim as much as either of them can. It ends abruptly when Poe tries to sit himself up further and immediately hisses in pain, previously lax body going rigidly tense against Finn’s. Finn immediately stops and helps in easing Poe back onto his side, hating the look of annoyance and self deprecation that’s formed on the man’s face.  
  


“Kriffing ribs,” Poe mumbles in explanation, giving a tired glance up at Finn, smiling weakly a moment later.  
  


Finn smiles back more automatically than anything, before laying back down behind Poe and softly kissing the back of his neck. “If I’m gonna do anything to you, you’ve gotta stay completely still, okay? Move and you’re gonna be stuck with blue balls until you’re healed up.”  
  


Poe snorts as if that couldn’t ever happen (Finn’ll let him keep telling himself that) but nods after another moment, setting his arm underneath his head as a secondary pillow. Finn allows himself a smug grin of excitement, squeezing Poe’s hand that’s still in the middle of his chest underneath his shirt. His other hand drops back down to slide over Poe’s stomach, slipping past his pants and underwear a few teasing moments later. He’s pleasantly surprised to find Poe already half hard, breath hitching when Finn wraps a hand around his dick.  
  


Finn begins to move his hand, using the precome as a psuedo lubricant, while biting into Poe’s slightly exposed shoulder, groaning softly as he attempts to himself still as well. It’s surprisingly not easy, especially with Poe’s breathing coming out in short and harsh pants. He can feel it every time Poe tries to nudge his hips forward just a little bit to get just a little bit of control over the agonizingly slow pace. Finn nips again at Poe’s shoulder before his mouth trails lazily up, sucking and dragging the man’s earlobe between his teeth. The noise he gets as a result is all too satisfying.  
  


“Love you,” Finn whispers, voice low enough to rasp and smile audible as well.  
  


Poe chuckles breathlessly, and Finn tightens his grip just the smallest amount and that turns it into a groan. “Love you too. Don’t stop.”  
  


“Don’t move.”  
  


As Finn’s pace kicks up another notch, he testingly starts to grind against Poe’s ass at the same rhythm. They both moan quietly, Poe’s hand on his squeezing tightly in response. As far as he can tell, it doesn’t hurt Poe any, so he keeps going. After several more strokes, he moves his hand away from Poe’s chest and places it on the man’s hip to better solidify his own friction. Still, this part is all about Poe, so he lets that motion fade into the background of his mind. It’s a bonus that the hand he’s placed on Poe’s hip seems to be doing something for him, practically whimpering every time Finn changes up his rhythm slightly.  
  


It all seems to go on for ages, the faint noises of the outside operations being drowned out by soft breathing and the shifting of clothes sliding up against clothes and the bedsheets. Poe’s other hand eventually finds a grip on Finn’s forearm, holding onto him tightly while his face is scrunched up in pleasure. Despite how much he’s practically shaking with it, repeating “don’t stop” every few seconds, he otherwise remains as still as can be. Finn smiles against the back of his neck, continuing to mark up that entire section of Poe’s skin to the points where half of it won’t be hidden by any shirt or hair length. He looks forward to seeing all of it.  
  


Another moment gives Finn the feeling of Poe tensing under him, making a noise that sounds like he’s had the air sucked out of him (which, considering the state of him, might be cause for concern) and Finn finally feels come hit his fingers. Poe’s knuckles are white where he holds onto Finn’s arm, his first breath in the high of his orgasm more of a sigh-exhale of Finn’s name. His mouth is slightly open all caught up in the relief of it, the rest of his breathing sounding more like poorly disguised whines..  
  


“Better?” Finn whispers, causing Poe to startle out of his blissful haze. He grins, nipping at Poe’s ear again playfully.  
  


Poe shakes his head a little, laughing when he looks up at Finn despite a small twinge of pain that crosses over his face that reminds them both that he’s still in a considerably vulnerable state. “Love you too. Now- hand it over.”   
  


Finn raises an eyebrow at him despite the  _ oh yeah _ thought that comes at being reminded how almost painfully hard he is. “Afraid it doesn’t work like that.”  
  


Poe gives him a look and makes a grabbing motion with his hand, feigning impatience. Finn can’t help but grin before he leaves a kiss to the crook of Poe’s neck and gets to work undoing his pants one-handed. Poe watches with a laid back amusement. It once again has to be agonizingly careful, as Finn doesn’t want to turn Poe with the constantly present risk of doing something to knock his mending bones out of place. The angle’s awkward, but, safety.  
  


Poe reaches back and gets a hand on Finn’s bare hip once the man positions himself so he’s somewhat straddled over Poe’s thighs. There’s a muted burn where bacta’s been applied to his one leg, but before he can consider anything else, Poe’s wrapped a hand around him and Finn’s thoughts are all gone and consumed by the need of more. He groans and Poe echoes him with a quiet laugh.  
  


They don’t spend long in the position. Eventually, Finn edges up so his face hovers over Poe’s and carefully he can help him onto his back. Thankfully there’s minimal missteps and little pain accidentally inflicted on either side. And really, there’s got to be some way to get the image of Poe fucked out underneath him tattooed or  _ something _ because this has to qualify for overwhelmingly too much for one guy to handle.  
  


The new angle allows them to at least kiss whilst Poe continues to work his fist over Finn’s cock. Finn’s smiling almost constantly against his mouth, gently pulling his bottom lip between his teeth every time he dives back in after a breath. Those breaks for breath begin to grow more frequent the longer Finn holds himself there and the longer Poe is given to speed up his pace, murmuring breathless nothings to him. Once Finn feels a familiar warmth begin from his toes and spreading up, he realizes Poe’s sentences have shifted away from the  _ God, Finn, want you like this always, _ and more towards the  _ I’ve got you, you're here, I’m here, we’re alright _ type.  
  


Poe whispers “Not gonna go without you,” and Finn cuts him off with another hard kiss before he comes with a muffled but still loud groan.  
  


Finn only moves off Poe’s mouth once he's actually sure he's seeing spots from the lack of air, still panting in close proximity to him. When he proceeds to open his eyes, he's greeted with Poe staring and smiling at him fondly, the sap (as if Finn is ever in any position to make fun about it). He responds to it by peppering kisses all over Poe’s face, not stopping until he reaches close to the back of his neck and Poe’s laughing until it switches quickly to weakly amused ‘ow’’s.  
  


While Finn wipes his hand on the inside of his shirt to deal with cleaning up later, he's then abruptly got to deal with Poe trying to take his shirt off on his own. It's another minor heart palpitation in a day full of previous heart attacks. But, apparently, Poe's not resting in a come-stained shirt, so Finn has to help him out even though there's nothing he can do on a pain level. No complains to be heard about being able to cuddle Poe into his chest and fully feel the warmth of his body when he sleeps.  
  


“Need anything else?” Finn asks once Poe’s settled back on his side, arm under his head and Finn’s fingers dancing along the small strip of chest between Poe’s ribs. They're probably going to be found like this, tangled up together and still somewhere they've got to have evidence of their quick fuck and it sounds so  _ nice _ .  
  


Poe makes a humming sound, shivering a little when Finn’s nail drags across his skin. “Stay alive for me while I’m asleep?”  
  


Finn’s sure if he miraculously dies over the course of only several hours, he'll let Poe kick his ass rightfully. But- stay alive. He can do that. He nods softly with a kiss to the man’s temple, relaxing against the bed for probably the only first proper time, snuggly pulling Poe in even closer.  
  


They're found an hour or two later while the transport men go through tents, both of the two asleep, Finn protectively curled over Poe automatically. Still alive so far.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> it was nice to rework this and just in general reread it because i miss that few months period where snap and jes were the random side characters i'd totally kill myself for. also, i very deeply miss finn and poe.
> 
> also didn't mean to post two handjob-centric works back to back but what can you do.
> 
> my twitter is going through some issues, so for the time being, i'm at @leiamilyn . my tumblr of still @lgbticos is a little more active these days.


End file.
